My special wee Angel, Alysia Caitlin Sinclair, was born in New Zealand on August 14th 2006 weighing 12.4oz (355grams) and 26cm long. She was perfectly made but born far too soon at 20 weeks and passed that same day. I love you, baby girl.

I wrote a letter to Alysia after my first scan; the very first time I saw my wee angel on 2nd May 2006.To my wee button, Mummy had her very first scan today. You were very, very little only 2cm big, but you are growing arms and legs and your only 6 weeks old. Only 34 weeks until mummy and daddy and your sister Madison get to meet you and hold you in our arms. We are excited and getting some cute little clothes ready for you.

Hopefully in the next couple of weeks we will see our midwife and I can’t wait for you to grow some more so mummy can hear your heartbeat. At the moment you are making mummy be sick a lot, but it will be all worth it when I see you my gorgeous wee angel. I keep wondering if you are going to be a boy or a girl; guess we will have to wait to find out

On June 8th 2006 you are now 10 weeks, and mummy heard your little heartbeat today at the doctors. It was amazing, it made me cry; it made you so real. You are going to be so loved sweetheart, mummy, daddy and your big sister Madison will make sure of that.

Twelve days later the midwife came today and we heard your wee heart beat again, loud and clear, your heart was beating at 150 beats, wow fast like your sister. I think you are going to be a wee girl. Auntie Natalie and your sister Madison were here to hear you. 

The 7th of August mummy had a scan and everything seemed fine untill the call from my midwife came in that afternoon saying "they had found a 5.2mm skin fold. We need you to come into the clinic at 9am tomorrow!" That's where it all began...things started going wrong. I was really sad. We went to see the midwife and doctor at Queen  Mary Anti-Natal Clinic and they explained to me what this fold could be and what we could do about it. I decided to go ahead with an amino at 19 week 1day pregnant. Unknowingly this turned out to be the worse decision of my life. The first 2 days after the amino little Alysia was moving more than she used too, but that slowed down so saw my doctor. All was well and the same the next day and baby was fine. 

I went to A&E because no one believed I was in labour on the 14th of August. I went  there at 1:52pm and didn't get seen untill 3:15pm and i I had Alysia in the A&E department at 4pm. She was born alive with movements for a minute or so, then she had 1-2 breaths every 5 minutes and passed away 26 minutes later. I held you all this time, sweetheart. I miss you and I want you back so bad, but there must have bigger dreams for you, my wee angel. I know I'll never get to hold you again in this life, but I am hopeful I will see you again and see your little smile. You go and find the light and play with all your little angel friends and look over Me, Daddy and Madison.
We will never forget you. Love always x0x0x0x0x

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